love, Syd

new bloggggggggg.

2011-05-01T16:22:00.000-07:00

so... i have another blog - it's all about me and john and it's pretty lame at the moment.

BUT it's the only blog i'm going to write on starting, like, last month. so you should follow it.

s + j

thanks :)

oh, i'm getting married next week? ok. no problem.

2011-04-02T15:14:00.000-07:00

didn't i just have like, five MONTHS to get all this stuff done??? and now i'm down to a matter of days??!!? someone please tell me that the calendar is lying.

just kidding! we do still have a lot to do - but it's not like we're going to be up until the wee hours of saturday morning trying to finish everything up. well, i might be awake. but only because i'm chronically sleep-deprived during exciting events - like Christmas and the first day of school and the nights before i get to see John. i probably won't sleep at all this week.

hopefully, most of you married girlies can relate to what i'm about to say...

can i just be married already?!?!??please?

i'm over it. let's just get married and give everyone a high-five and go start our life. it could be that i've only spent around 6 or 7 days with John every month since we've been engaged. it could be that we've spent upwards of a thousand hours talking to each other on skype since we met. it could be that we send about 50 texts about what we're doing or figuring out wedding stuff every day. it could be that i just miss him a whole heck of a lot. it could be that when we're together he does all the heavy-lifting and driving and cell phone fetching and i'm just lazy. it could be that i have an entire lifetime of treasures to pack up and i don't want to do it all myself. it could be that when you know who you want to spend the rest of eternity with and you can't be with them everyday you pretty much just want to scream and yell and tie your dog's leash to a skateboard and make him pull you to wherever they are [tho it help when your dog is at least bigger than the skateboard].

um - sorry for the ranting. the point is: I'M GETTING MARRIED IN SEVEN DAYS!!!!

yep.

that's the point :)

here's a picture of the day i got bored and tried to braid John's hair.

and here's all the flowers that Steph and Nettie and i planted this afternoon.

the end.

rock in the suburbs.

2011-03-28T17:25:00.001-07:00

How come she looks better in my sunglasses than I do?

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one month...

2011-03-09T14:32:00.001-08:00

Today marks exactly one month until John and I GET MARRIED!!
We're super excited that we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's been a great - and by great I mean loooong - six months of engagement... but we are SO ready to be married.

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woot woot!!

2011-03-09T11:42:00.001-08:00

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german pancakes...

2011-02-19T12:46:00.001-08:00

mmmMmMmmMMMmmmmm!!!!

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ice skating!

2011-01-21T15:28:00.001-08:00

So, before Christmas I was in San Diego and John reeeallllyyy wanted to go ice skating downtown. So we went to the rink, but it was a little too small and melted for me.
I promised him that we'd go to a real ice rink the next time he came to Vegas, but we never got the chance until today! In Provo of all places!
We had a really good time... except for when John pushed me into a wall...

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utaaaahh!

2011-01-21T10:58:00.001-08:00

Right now I'm sitting on the bed in Meg's basement waiting for John to finish his homework. We are gonna go to J-Dawgs for lunch and then go ice skating at Seven Peaks. Expect more pictures!!

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gluten free

2011-01-15T12:02:00.000-08:00

This week, I've been babysitting my cousins. It's been fun! Well, except for the day that Reed's blood sugar went psycho and they sent her home from school. That was not a fun phone call to get. But really, we've had fun. We played mini-golf, went to see Yogi Bear and Red, and went bowling. [I won, btw.]
AND they have the new xbox kinect... which is ah-mazing!! I love it. I would play it all day if I had the stamina. haha. Mostly because I can beat George at one of the games!
Today, our plan is to go to the Pinball Hall of Fame. And that's going to be great! I'm really excited to waste away hours of my life playing every pinball machine known to man. Seriously.
First, though, we have to wait for Reed's blood sugar to come down. And while we were doing that, I got hungry. Oh, I forgot to mention that Reed's allergic to wheat and gluten and whatever else makes bread delicious. Bummer.
Needless to say, finding something to eat this morning was a little bit tricky. I don't really like rice cereal - but that's all they have. So I compromised! I mixed in some sugar and some cocoa and you know what? It was good!! It looked disgusting, but I gobbled it all up and even thought about making a second bowl.
Now that I've shared that with you, I'm going to go watch cartoons with George. Bye.

please ignore the bald-headed man.

2011-01-10T12:50:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I went to the movies with my two cousins. We got there a little early so we played in the arcade before venturing to the snacks. And then, as we walked toward our theatre, George spotted a cotton candy machine. I love cotton candy. LOVE it. So we decided to give it a try. It was awesome. And definitely worth the two bucks! But then, when I got to my seat realized that my drink loves cotton candy too. Oh well, it was worth the two bucks AND sticky fingers :)

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meet Teko.

2011-01-09T12:13:00.001-08:00

He's cute, huh?

Right now Teko is rubbing his face on the rug. I'm not sure why. He doesn't really like me, which is a bummer because he's exactly the kind of dog I love to cuddle! He's my cousins' dog, and since I'm watching them for the week I get to spend lots of quality time having staring contests with Teko. Usually I'm the only one aware that it's a contest, because he's too focused on whatever I happen to be eating at the time.

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long time, no post.

2010-12-20T17:56:00.000-08:00

it's literally been months since i blogged. which is funny, because i have all the time in the world these days to be blogging about everything. this whole wedding-planning thing is pretty fun. i'm finding a lot of great ideas, mostly for my wedding, but also for decorating and party-planning in general. i just wish it were april already!!

i'm such a great employee.

2010-10-27T16:02:00.000-07:00

sometimes i think that every time i mess up at this job it's the boss-man who catches me.
and that really is how it happens, almost every time.

but today i feel a little bit better about myself. because:
[a] i had the car-detailer guy come an hour later than he had planned, [b] i had the car-detailer guy wait an extra 20 minutes because the boss-man was late, [c] i looked up an address and printed directions to the boss-man's next meeting, and [d] i double-checked the car-detailer guy's going rate for a regular car wash.

all in one day.

man, am i awesome or what?!

sunshine and tulle.

2010-10-15T10:23:00.000-07:00

yesterday i had a VERY grumpy day. i was sleepy and hungry for most of it. and then it seemed like everytime i had a breakthrough with wedding stuff something would go wrong.
i took a lot of my frustration out on john, and i feel terrible for it now. it's a good thing he's so in love with me :)
i was grumpy because work was really busy yesterday, and one of my contacts was being difficult, and the daily checks were super complicated to figure out, and the wrong delivery came in, and my blood sugar was low, and the internet at home wasn't set up, and my room is a mess, and i needed to do laundry, and my brother's dog is annoying, and there were about a hundred other reasons - but typing them all out will just make me grumpy all over again.
so i was laying in bed this morning, not wanting to get up just yet, and i started thinking about how nice the weather's been outside, and how exciting it is to be planning a wedding, and my fluffy dress, and how incredibly lucky i am to be marrying my absolute best friend in the world. john is just amazing. and the best part is that he doesn't even know it. he's everything i've ever needed in my life, and i can't even begin to express how grateful i am for him. but i'm going to try.

to my johnny monster -
you are the best thing in my life. you make me smile, even when i don't want to. you light up my heart every single day and you remind me that it's never going to be dark again. thank you for always doing what you say you will. thank you for always being there, even when i didn't ask for you to. thank you for telling me that you love me every chance you get. thank you for my pretty ring and the promise of forever that you attached to it. thank you for not thinking i'm crazy. thank you for being lazy with me, and letting me take naps. thanky you for telling me the truth - even when it's hard. thank you for holding me close, and holding my hand, and kissing my head when i'm sad. thank you for letting me meet your family and friends in san diego. thank you for liking my friends and family and not thinking we're too wierd. thank you for being the driver on long road trips. thank you for making my lunches before school. thank you for holding my hand when we'd cross the street. thank you for taking an online class while your home and working. thank you for calling the apartment complexes to find out more information and get us on waiting lists. thank you for trying to explain things to me because i don't understand them, and not getting too mad when i give up trying and need to take a break. thank you for giving me a reason to go back to rexburg, because i wasn't quite ready to leave forever. thank you for being driven and wanting to be the best student you can so you can get into a good law school and support me and our family. thank you for thinking i was cute in a pathetic sort of way. thank you for loving hot dogs and slurpees and horkleys and pickles as much as i do. thank you for all your efforts to get me to go to the gym. thank you for reminding me of the things i need to do. thank you for inspiring me to be better and to really study my scriptures. thank you for being my best friend, and the best thing in my life, and for wanting to spend the rest of forever with me. thank you for calling and reserving our date at the temple. thank you for calling my every morning to make sure i'm awake and to tell me that you love me. thank you for staying on skype every night until i fall asleep. thank you for letting me bug you with a million e-mails a day and responding to them whenever you have an extra minute. thank you for letting me call and wake you up in the middle of the "night" and talk to you while i'm at lunch. thank you for getting days off work to come and see me for halloween and for our trip to rexburg. thank you for everything you do for me. thank you for all your prayers. thank you for thinking about me. thank you for boris, and ghoti, and marcus, and the flamingo whose name escapes me... thank you for loving me even though i'm an absolute mess all the time. thank you for kissing me before i brush my teeth. thank you for thinking i'm pretty when i'm sick, and haven't showered, and just woke up, and especially when all of those things happen at the same time. thank you for letting me take you all over the place to take pictures and then not even showing them to you because i don't really like them. thank you for letting me have a secret engagement story. thank you for introducing me to the two-story target phenomenon. thank you for metting me be me. thank you for laughing at my silly jokes. and thank you for laughing at me when i'm trying to be serious. thank you for working graveyard shifts, even though you hate it. thank you for telling everyone you meet how much you love me. thank you for washing dishes. thank you for fluffing herman. thank you for telling me that i have too much stuff. thank you for all of it - the whole package. thank you, john. i mean it. i really don't deserve you.
i love you, forever and ever, time a bazilion, plus infinity, with everything i have.

ten things that made me happy today.

2010-10-07T19:33:00.000-07:00

[this is for amber, who challenged all her friends to do this.]

ONE - spending all day on g-chat with john.
TWO - the nice weather outside.
THREE - my ring making rainbows and sparkles across my desk.
FOUR - looking at wedding blogs.
FIVE - thinking of brittney out on her mission and having a fabulous birthday.
SIX - the smell of fajitas.
SEVEN -finally getting to hang out with nettie after fifty-seven tries.
EIGHT - talking about forever.
NINE - trying on wedding dresses!!
TEN - john. he just makes me happy all by himself.

would anyone like to plan my wedding??

2010-10-07T07:35:00.000-07:00

pretty please?

with sugar on top.
and whipped cream.
and a cherry.
and chocolate syrup.
and rainbow sprinkles.

i have about a BAZILLION ideas - but none of them would really work together.
maybe this is why people spend so much moolah to hire a wedding planner...

book plus blog equals... blook??!

2010-09-02T00:08:00.000-07:00

here's the thing... i read. a LOT. possibly too much for my own good. but what i don't do is keep any sort of record of what i've read.

and so, i'm introducing [da da da da] the blook!!
it'll be great, i promise. if not for you, then for me. i need to have some way of remembering all these books so one day, when i'm looking back and thinking what have i done with my life i'll have the blook to remind me of all those precious days i spent doing nothing.

and who knows, maybe i'll nudge someone in the direction of a library every now and then...

i need a project.

2010-08-13T23:10:00.000-07:00

i have all this spare time now... and i need some sort of productive activity to fill it with. i mean, i have to look for a job, and then my spare time will be a little more limited, but let's face it - i do absolutely NOTHING else. i do need to clean my room so that i can rearrange it so that i can paint it so that i can install some shelves [which need to be designed and then built]. however, i have a feeling that a lot of that will involve my family's help and so not really take as much time as it sounds like it will...

in november i'm going to write a book. or, at least, try. there's a non-profit organization that does this thing called NaNoWriMo [national novel writing month] and they challenge you to write a fifty-thousand word manuscript during the month of november. so that's my plan for then...

i need to make some kind of scrap-book for my years in college. but i mostly just want that to be a collection of cheesy roommate pictures and random side notes. nothing too fancy or time consuming.

after that, though, i'm at a loss. i expect i'll have a lot of planning to do after the new year, but even then it'd be nice to have some little side projects to help keep me some sort of sane. but what kinds of things are there to do?! i'd love to just go out and take pictures, but there's just nothing in this town i want to document. i'd also love to make a quilt using all my old school shirts, but my mom's sewing machine and i don't exactly see eye to eye.

i need to focus on writing. i want to start a book-club sort of blog. since i'm such an avid reader and i did just get a degree in English, it'd probably benefit me to practice those skills that i attained. you know, to keep my brain from gathering too much dust.

i also think it'd be cool to grow a bonsai tree. it would help me to be patient and give me something calm and relaxing to do when things around here are hectic or stressful. i'm just afraid that when i'll kill it i'll be too discouraged to try again.

maybe this list of things to do is already long enough and i just need to crack down and get started. too bad starting projects is my least favorite part :/

my Julia is MARRIED!!!

2010-07-12T14:21:00.000-07:00

she was sooo beautiful. everything was just amazing. even the cake, and i don't especially like red velvet. here are a couple pics i stole from her sister's facebook...

has anyone else ever noticed that i'm a little tall to be in a short dress and heels?! [at least no one got a shot of the back of my dress... they would have been in for a surprise!]

oh, i just love her. so beautiful, right?! and Shane's not so bad either! ;)

i'm so happy for my dearest love and her new hubby. and i was so glad that i could be a part of their special day. but i am NEVER letting her pick out my shoes ever again!!

philosophy? no thanks, i'll have the pie.

2010-07-01T09:43:00.000-07:00

why did i think it would be a good idea to cluster in philosophy of all things?!! seriously. i don't think i've spent more than 45 minutes actually paying attention in this class all semester. it's a bit sad.

here is a sneak peek of the other students in this class with me...
- the boy who prefaces all of his comments/questions with: "this may sound confusing. it makes sense in my head."
- the girl who gets up at least once, but sometimes two or three times to walk the entire length of the room to throw something away, usually a food wrapper.
- the girl who wears the same plum-colored shirt and awkwardly laced pink and white tennis-shoes with everything.
- the boy from my ethics class who turns around to look at me every time a reference is made to something we talked about in that class.
- the self-proclaimed army-brat girl who spends half of every day complaining about the dress and grooming standards to the person behind her.
- and, my favorite, the girl who knits during every lecture.

thank heavens for the boy who always sits in front of me with his thick, dark, curly hair that i can stare at and get lost in.

oh, my teacher just started a sentence with, "When I met Hitchcock in my dream..."

the funny thing...

2010-06-25T21:01:00.000-07:00

i really don't like apples. the fruit. i don't like the flavor, the texture, or the fact that they can be made into almost any kind of edible thing [i.e. sauce, juice, pie, etc.]

but i LOVE LOVE LOVE apples. the computer. i love the design, the programming, and the fact that they have all sorts of different shapes and sizes [i.e. iPod, iPad, MacBook, iMac, etc.]

365.

2010-06-24T20:01:00.000-07:00

a year can go by pretty fast, huh?
so much has happened since last summer.
we sent off a missionary, celebrated two weddings, and moved on to bigger and better things...
but we're still all together, theoretically. [thanks facebook]

it's nice to know that no matter what i do or where i end up i'll have my girls there with me :)
that's a comfort i'll always be grateful for.

there are two doors in front of me.

2010-06-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

the first one will keep me safe and comfortable. i know what i get as soon as i walk through. there's nothing scary or mysterious about it. and i know that i'll be happy.

the second one is the complete opposite. it's different and strange and exciting. i'd be doing things i've never done before. and i think i'll love it more than anything i've ever done.

but i can't have both. i have to pick one. and the choice is hard. people will be hurt and lives will change either way. i'll be a different, new, better person.

this isn't something i was prepared for.

i haven't...

2010-04-26T14:14:00.000-07:00

been in the same state for more than four days since April 8th.

i went home for four days.
i went to california for three days.
i went back home for another two days.
i went to idaho for four days.
i went home for a day.
i went back to california for two days.
and then in the process of driving back to idaho i was home for a night.
and now i think i'll be stationary for a while.

hopefully.

last day of school!

2010-04-07T07:35:00.000-07:00

whoo hoo!!

that's really all i have to say.
because i'm so ready for this semester to be over.
and ready to start my FINAL SEMESTER OF COLLEGE!

but first i have to get through today.
and this ridiculously long philosophy class.
it's never going to end.
i feel like i've been here for at least two hours, but it's only be 30 minutes.
ugh.

anyway, this week held a lot of lasts for me.
- my last ever english class [i am now some-sort-of-qualified professional writer].
- my last ever religion class [i am now fully prepared for eternal marriage... haha].
- my last ever architecture class [i am now capable of designing a building, or at least interpreting blueprints].

it feels good to say i'm "done" with those things.

i think that i'll celebrate with mcdonalds :)

dear rexburg...

2010-04-03T13:34:00.000-07:00

it's april.
it's time for sunshine and flowers.
no more of this:

i want...

2010-03-26T08:58:00.000-07:00

this class to be over.
to be a graduate already.
a poptart.
the serengeti dress from anthropologie.
to take a nap.
to see my mikalyn. :)
for brittney's mission to go by really fast.
to be in california.
my cold to go away.
to live on my own, regardless of how impractical that is.
some new shoes.
to figure my life out.
all my jeans to fit right.
it to be summer.

have you ever noticed that the more you want something, it always seems farther away and harder to get? life is funny that way. but then again, weekends always seem to make me feel like things are a lot closer and easier.

i went snowboarding a few weeks ago.

2010-03-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

remember how i bruise like a three-day-old peach?!
well, if you need a reminder, here is exhibit A:

that's my knee...

this smaller bruise is on the back of my leg, and it has a twin in the exact same spot on my other leg.

we decided that they're from my boots.

there was a bruise on my hand, but it didn't really show up on the camera, so i'll just let you imagine what it looked like.
and the piece de resistance is this big fella, on the back of my arm:

oh man, you should have seen it... this picture doesn't do it justice.

needless to say, i should be taking some kind of iron supplement. because these are just the note-worthy bruises, there are plenty more smaller ones scattered all over my body.
i swear i'm not the victim of abuse.
these are just the products of a normal day's activities for me.

remember the 2010 census?

2010-03-19T22:27:00.000-07:00

and how i was really excited that i got to fill it out, because hey - how else is obama gonna know where to send his speeches for editing?!
well, i was disappointed.
it was lame.
all they wanted to know was where i live, how old i am, and what color my skin is.
l-a-m-e.
way to hype up the most boring 2 minutes of my week, united stated government.
i'm never falling for a commercial again...

oh my gosh. star trek is on.
bye.

i am a designer.

2010-03-17T15:41:00.000-07:00

sometimes i forget just what it is that i'm doing here at school and then i remember... getting an education.

but what exactly am i being educated in? i'm an english major. professional writing, to be more specific. but i've done a LOT more than just read a bunch of books and write a bunch of reports in the four years that i've been here.

most people who know me forget that i started school as an architecture major. but i did. and i've continued to study the design principles, which gave me the opportunity to:
     • design a museum and take it all the way through the design process, from theory to plans
     • hand-render multiple buildings and landscapes, including the Rexburg Temple
     • create a full set of architectural plans (blue-prints) for a residential single-family dwelling
     • design and model a completely custom home and digitally render images of both the exterior and interior views

some design projects that are a little more relevant to english were:
     • an online bridal magazine.
     • an instruction manual on how to build a tool box.
     • a grant proposal.
     • a personal academic portfolio.
     • a guide book for one of the university's study abroad programs.
     • a fully inclusive online professional portfolio [still in production]

i've designed flyers, newsletters, and brochures, created websites and blogs, and created more than my fair share of cover-pages.

i think i have a total of five portfolios:
     • creative writing
     • architectural design
     • visual media
     • academic writing
     • and the aforementioned professional portfolio

after all that i don't think i want to be labeled as an english student. i'm going to dance with the idea that i'm basically a designer for a while. granted, my design skills are very basic and mostly unrelated to each other, but still... it's what i've spent the majority of my college years doing.

anyway, i'm a senior. i did it. can i maybe just say that i rock?!

b.l.a.h.

2010-03-13T13:00:00.000-08:00

b. is for how very, very BORING it is in the austin building on a saturday. for real. but i guess the more boring it is the easier it should be to focus, and so the faster my homework should get done... right?!

l. is for how much i would LOVE to have a horkley's with me right now. oh, the misfortunes of only ever carrying around a debit card.

a. is for how i would rather be doing ANYTHING than sitting at this computer staring blankly at the progress bar of my rendered image. ugh.

and h. is for how HAPPY i'm going to be once this is all finished and i can feel accomplished and successful about life again.

to the tune of...

2010-03-08T22:03:00.000-08:00

"we just got a letter" [yes, the blue's clues song. don't judge.]

i just bought a vacuum,
i just bought a vacuum,
i just bought a vacuum,
and my floor looks really great!!

:)

the contents of the dirt container, however, kind of made me sick...

yeah, we've been living in this for months!!

ah, the taste of accomplishment.

2010-03-04T09:39:00.000-08:00

even just a little sip is nice.

i completed items 1, 2, and 6 on my list of things to do yesterday, and it turns out #7 isn't due until thursday, so that sort of counts too :)

this afternoon may or may not see my laundry getting done... it depends on how i feel after tanning.

but i have decided to take my garbage out on my way to school today.

GO ME!!

i have a lot to do...

2010-03-03T14:30:00.000-08:00

I NEED TO...
   1] write a paper for philosophy, because it's due at 11:55 tonight.
   2] take a quiz for a different philosophy class, because it's also due at 11:55 tonight.
   3] do my laundry, because i'm running low on undies.
   4] clean my room, because my floor space is already limited as it is.
   5] find an alternative option to the vacuum in the front closet, because it sucks and our carpet is disgusting.
   6] read for eternal marriage class, because i don't want to fail at being a wife.
   7] write a paper for the same eternal marriage class, because it's on the syllabus.
   8] buy some face lotion, because my skin gets very very dry in the very very cold climate in which i live.
   9] paint my toes, because the grody-toe still freaks me out.
10] take out my garbage, because shipping boxes don't fit in my trash can.
11] work on my architecture homework, because i don't want to be stressed about it next week.

HOWEVER...
i'd much rather sit right here and stare at my computer screen than do anything even remotely productive. i'm just having that kind of day.

potato fields.

2010-02-19T22:55:00.000-08:00

[remember people... this is idaho.]

there's a potato field across the street from where i live.
actually, if you drive out of town in any direction, chances are you'll run into a potato field.
think about it.

i love seeing the people who've taken me out past the lights in the context of real life...

valentines past.

2010-02-15T21:23:00.000-08:00

jozey.
weren't we fun together?

but we didn't do so well on the communication thing.

and kiff.
we were pretty cute when we were alone.

there was something wrong with our public social skills though.

and john.

he's my best friend.

did you know that the distance from rexburg to san diego is nine hundred eighty-nine miles?

why can't i have a normal valentine?

...am i reading too much into things??

can anybody find me...

2010-01-18T20:53:00.003-08:00

somebody to love?

two.thousand.nine

2009-12-30T00:02:00.000-08:00

all in all... a sucky year.

right girls?!

i'm blaming it on the fact that it's an odd number. i don't like things that come in odd numbers... [unless it's a 3, or the volume on my radio.] i tried to take an inventory of the good things that came out of this year and all i really got was:
- an apartment full of amazing forever-friends,
- an official graduation "plan" that's looking like it will stick, and
- the new record length of time i've gone without hurting myself.

so, while those are pretty great things, i just don't feel as though 2009 did everything it could for me. i had to learn way too many life lessons the hard way. it's a good thing there's only a couple days left, or i don't know what i would have done...

think...

2009-12-09T13:27:00.000-08:00

think about these quotes for a minute.
they kind of inspire me.

"You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants." [Stephen King]

"The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings - words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out." [Stephen King]

"The place where you made your stand never mattered. Only that you were there... and still on your feet." [Stephen King]

"Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid." [Fyodor Dostoevsky]

"Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them." [Albert Einstein]

i only kind of believe you.

2009-12-07T13:03:00.000-08:00

i had a dream last night -
we drove out to see las vegas.
we lost ourselves in the bright lights.
i wish you could have seen us -
begging for change to get home.
or at least [san diego.]

•••

please don't tell me that i'm dreaming -
when all i ever wanted was to dream another sunset with you.
if i roll over when it's over -
i'll take this [rexburg] sunrise with me.
and wake up with the fondest memories.

•••

sunsets never were so bright -
and the skies never so blue.
you opened up into my arms -
and we laughed as I held you.

snow...

2009-12-02T13:06:00.000-08:00

...takes the scenic route from the sky to the ground. it just sorta floats around, taking everything in before it decides to land.

i think snowflakes were made to stay in the air, not to pile up all over streets and sidewalks, rooftops and trampolines. but gravity just doesn't think anything should be allowed to be that free.

stupid gravity.

wind...

2009-11-21T00:15:00.000-08:00

is really nice on a hot summer's day.

makes long grass move in graceful waves.

can sometimes make my hair look really cool, if it's blowing the right way.

HOWEVER...

right now, the wind is freaking me out. i can hear it whooshing past my window and doing weird things to the front door. hopefully it will blow that snow-storm right past Rexburg and straight to the mountains where it belongs! but knowing Idaho, and knowing my luck with the weather, it's going to dump everything it's got right here. and it's probably going to wreak havoc on the road to Utah. UGH! why didn't anyone ever write a song to make the wind go away??

thankyouforbeingawkward.weebly.com

2009-11-16T10:54:00.000-08:00

umm... i made a new website.
because i feel as though it is my responsibility to document the awkwardness that we experience on a day-to-day basis.
check it out.
would you like to be a part of it?!

:|

2009-11-09T12:40:00.000-08:00

somewhere over the rainbow is toxic waste and landfills.

LaDyBuGsSsSsS...

2009-10-28T13:30:00.000-07:00

i like them.

i wish that there were more of them in my life.

i don't normally do this.

2009-10-13T20:57:00.000-07:00

last week Zan was looking for some boots to wear in the rodeo. [yeah, born and raised in idaho and doesn't even own a pair of cowboy boots. i was shocked.]
so we went to the DI in idaho falls.
now, i don't do second-hand stores. or thrift shops. i don't even really like tj max or ross, to be completely honest. but he really wanted some boots so i plucked up the courage to go inside.

and it's a good thing i did!! because if i hadn't gone we never would have stumbled upon the newest addition to my collection of stuff!!

check this baby out!!

isn't he cute?? oh man. i just love it. beth's not a huge fan, especially when i scootch him into her doorway and barracade her in her room, but i think over time little Desky's gonna grow on her :-)

a picture's worth a thousand words.

2009-10-05T12:23:00.000-07:00

this is true. and convenient. because i'm too lazy to write out everything i've been doing. so here are some pictures and short commentaries instead :)

i finally figured out what i wanted to do with all my paintings and canvases. i made a collage! pretty, huh?

this is Juliette... my friend Turner brought her over to visit me :)

haha... Beth and I are going to start handing little slips of paper with this on them. pretty self-explanatory.

this weekend we went to Preston and had dinner at the Deer Cliff Inn... they got me!!!

life's a little bit better...

2009-09-27T23:25:00.000-07:00

with a boyfriend.
:-)

yup. i said it.
he took the plunge.

now let's just hope it sticks...

watching people move in is HILARIOUS.

2009-09-08T12:24:00.000-07:00

i am SOOO happy to be back in good ol' Rexy... i missed this town dearly. but i have been so effing busy this past week, it's crazy! i feel like everything happened all in one day. but it didn't. i've been here since wednesday night... so it's been like six days. here's what i've been up to:

MONDAY, August 31, 2009
i finished all my packing and did everything i needed to do before Zan came in to town. he got to vegas around 9pm, so i had a LOT of time to get excited. which i was. very excited. monday night we didn't do much because it was so late. we got slurpees with my friend Steph and watched x-men 2. not gonna lie, i fell asleep.

TUESDAY, September 1, 2009
Zan and i went shopping all morning on tuesday. then we had lunch with my momma. then he wanted to play the slots so we went down to the strip. he won $4.50, but being the sin-supporting person that i am, i convinced him to keep playing and he lost that along with about seventeen more dollars. hahaha. it's ok though, because i ended up losing about ten bucks too. for dinner Zan really really wanted to have all-you-can-eat sushi, and Steph and her lover boy wanted to come too. but she didn't get off work until about 10, so we had a SUPER late dinner of deliciousness. it really was so good, but i could hardly eat anything it was so late!!

WEDNESDAY, September 2, 2009
you guys would not believe how early i was waking up these days... 8 am!! it was crazy. my mom wanted us to be on the road by 9, which i though was ridiculous. but we did it! i think we were finally on the freeway at about 9:30. we stopped in St. George to pick up some speakers for Zan's apartment. then right before we got to Beaver there was a huge traffic jam. once we got going and saw what it was we were freaking shocked!! a semi had rear-ended another semi and seriously sandwiched the cab into all the boxes and stuff of the trailer. it was ridiculous. luckily, when Zan looked it up at home later it was only the passenger side of the cab that was smaskeh and the driver got out without a scratch. but i was seriously disturbed for the entire day becasue of that. anyway, then we stopped in Nephi for gas. and then we stopped in Salt Lake for food. and then i dropped him off in Rigby and then i was HOME!!! it was so great to be back with Beth and Mikey!

THURSDAY, September 3, 2009
umm... this was kind of a boring day, i think. i don't really remember that much of it. i moved all my stuff into room 6 and then set everything up. and i did it in record time too!! well, i guess my record wasn't that hard to beat, since the last time i set things up by myself it took me about a month. lol. BUT i did purchase a 7'6'' cozy sac for the living room!! that was an adventure in itself because the color was wrong and the shipping address was to my house in vegas... but don't worry, it's all fixed! nap times will never be the same again!

FRIDAY, September 4, 2009
i finished getting thing set up in my room, sort of. i still have some pictures to put up. i went to rigby and idaho falls with Zan who needed to buy some new pants and shoes for his family pictures. then i went with him up to Island Park for the weekend. i was really nervous about it, because i've really only ever talked to his mom once or twice and his sister-in-law a couple times. but it turned out to be really fun weekend. we got there kind of late so we just hung out at their cabin friday night.

SATURDAY, September 5, 2009
Zan and his dad, brother, and brother-in-law went golfing at like 8:30 in the morning. so yes, i was awake at 8. again. i just hung out with his mom, sister, and sister-in-law all morning. oh, and his nephew Conner. who is three and so freaking adorable.then when the boys got back from golfing we went for a drive. we were trying to find some spot that his mom wanted to take pictures at. but we got lost and ended up driving around for like 2 hours in the middle of nowhere. then we went out to the lake there because some of their friends were taking their boat out and Zan NEEDED to go wakeboarding. he'd been having withdrawals. then we went back to the cabin and ate a really quick dinner and headed to Montana to go to the Playmill theatre and see the Secret Garden. it was really good. the room was so hot and the acoustics weren't that great [i don't think you should need mics in a theatre that only seats 250 people.] but it was really good. i had fun. it was really late by the time we got back and we basically all just crashed right away. but they did say we could ditch church and sleep in, so i was happy.

SUNDAY, September 6, 2009
until they made me get up at 9. if you ask me, that's not sleeping in. granted i had been awake since 8:30 when Zan told Conner to go knock on my door, but still. we had a really slow morning, but we didn't have all that much of a schedule so it was ok. once everyone was ready we drove out to an old town called Nevada City :-) in Montana where they wanted to do their family pictures. there's this really cool old train car there that was so incredibly awesome. i loved it. and i got to be the photographer, so it was really fun. i'm really excited about doing that as a cluster now! after i used up all the camera's memory we decided to go eat and then head back to the cabin. once we got to the cabin i was so tired it was ridiculous, so Zan and i took a nap. it was only about an hour and a half long, but it felt GOOD! then we ate dinner, his sister and brother-in-law made some deeeeelicious chicken. and then we drove home. it was really late and dark and we hadn't meant to stay all day but we got down the hill without running into any stray moosen so it was ok in the end. but THEN, when i texted Beth that i was coming home she told me that she'd been locked out since 5:30. it was like 9 by now. i felt so bad. so we hung out downstairs at Brittney's new apartment until our new door-locking-roommate got home. around 11pm. Beth had been locked out for almost six hours!! but now we have a spare key, so it shouldn't be a problem anymore. fingers crossed.

MONDAY, September 7, 2009
i feel as though i should remember best what hapened yesterday, but i don't. i checked in. i got dressed. i ate lunch. i went to Rigby with Zan to help him pack more stuff. i paid for school and housing. when Beth got off work we went down to IF with Brittney and went to Target to get a doormat. we looked for bathroom rugs too but they didn't have any cute ones. then Brittney left to go back to Logan and Beth and i did some quick grocery shopping. that's pretty much all i can remember.

TUESDAY, September 8, 2009
ummm... yeah. i don't really remember what i did today. i bought books and ended up having to pay a lot more than i thought i'd have to. the prices were wrong online. that was a bummer. but i got to see Kayla!! we had lunch at Bajio before she went to work. and i said goodbye to Mikey. which made me sad. and Beth left me for Fun, which also made me sad. so i think i'll go eat worms.

rexburg.

2009-09-04T10:56:00.000-07:00

i'm back!!

that's all.

ben is home.

2009-08-29T22:20:00.000-07:00

here's a comparison for you:

i haven't seen ben for over 2 years.
when i saw him walking up my driveway i had to remind myself to be excited.

i haven't seen zan for six measely weeks.
when he told me he bought his ticket to vegas i had a spaz attack from trying to hold myself together.

after two years, i can't think of anything to say to ben.
no stories, no news, no nothing.

every day i talk to zan about anything we can think of.
morning time, lunchtime, after-lunchtime, break time, evening time, dinner time, night time, bed time.

ben's been my best friend since we were 10.

i'll have been friends with zan for one year this october.

i love ben.
well, in one of those best-friends-forever kind of ways.

i really like zan.
there's not any kind of definition to our relationship, but i like him.

that's all i've got so far. i don't even really know how i feel about this. all of it. any of it. but school's starting soon! i'll be in rexburg on wednesday! i get to be with my beth and my brittney! and my kayla, too! i'm ready for this.

i think.

don't these people know...

2009-08-20T22:31:00.000-07:00

that i can only handle ONE big important life changing event at a time?!!!!

today, i saw my old best-friend's little sisters, who are in high school. and one is old enough to be talking about colleges. they are supposed to still be 10.
later, i got a text message from Ben. remember him? the love of my life, who brings out the best AND worst in me. at the same time. he'll be home in a week. i'm not as excited as i should be to see my oldest-best-friend-forever.
shortly after, i noticed via facebook that my ex-boyfriend's wife went into labor. this is the man that i've spent seven years trying pry out of my heart. [however, their baby is the absolute cutest thing i have ever seen in my life.]
finally, i was informed of something that, frankly, i could have lived a full/happy/complete life without knowing.

did i mention that i don't like change? or growing up? or dealing with reality?

oh, and yesterday i found out that i was an accident.

i went shopping today!

2009-08-18T00:44:00.000-07:00

WHOOO!!
lol. it had been a while since i spent any money.
almost a whole week!
but anyway, this week is employee appreciation at urban so we get a special discount on sale items. i got a pullover sweater with pretty flowers on it for SIX DOLLARS! and i got a cool navy and white striped long button-up cardigan for SIX DOLLARS!! and i got pink, white, and black t-shirts for TWELVE DOLLARS EACH!! so basically it was a good day. i love shopping.

fun fact for the day:
Zan's sister-in-law has been telling him repeatedly that he needs to get his head out of his butt and figure himself out already because she likes me and she's on my side.
i don't really understand it, but i think it's funny. because Zan knows it's true, and he tells me that i'm awesome for not thinking he's a jerk. which, i am awesome and i don't think he's a jerk. i really like him...

that's all, goodnight.

things to do in Vegas...

2009-08-13T18:55:00.001-07:00

here are some things that we can do in Vegas, baby...

- hang out by my pool and soak up the sun!
- go shopping [my all-time favorite thing to do!!]
- cruise the Strip!
- take pictures at the "Welcome to fabulous Las Vegas" sign [which i've never ever done before.]
- get tickets to a show... they're half-price the day of, but it's slim pickin's!
- party like it's 1999.
- have a hot dog eating contest.
- get tattoos and deep-fried twinkies down on Freemont Street.
- whatever your heart desires!

NOW, i need your input. tell me what sounds fun, what sounds lame, and what i forgot to list.

i think i have this.

2009-08-11T21:30:00.000-07:00

calcification /cal·ci·fi·ca·tion / (kal″sĭ-fĭ-ka´shun) the deposit of calcium salts in a tissue.

dystrophic calcification the deposition of calcium in abnormal tissue, such as scar tissue or atherosclerotic plaques, without abnormalities of blood calcium.

eggshell calcification deposition of a thin layer of calcium around a thoracic lymph node, often seen in silicosis.

cal·ci·fi·ca·tion n.

1. Impregnation with calcium or calcium salts. Also called calcareous infiltration.

2. Hardening, as of tissue, by such impregnation.

3. A calcified substance or part.
[The American Heritage® Medical Dictionary Copyright © 2007, 2004 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.]

calcification Etymology: L, calx + facere, to make

the accumulation of calcium salts in tissues. Normally, about 99% of all the calcium entering the human body is deposited in the bones and teeth; the remaining 1% is dissolved in body fluids such as blood. Disorders affecting the delicate balance between calcium and other minerals, parathyroid hormone, and vitamin D can result in calcium deposits in arteries, kidneys, lung alveoli, and other tissues, interfering with normal organ function. See also calcitonin, calcium, calculus. calcific, adj.
[Mosby's Medical Dictionary, 8th edition. © 2009, Elsevier.]

calcification

the deposit of calcium salts in a tissue. The normal absorption of calcium is facilitated by parathyroid hormone and by vitamin D. In poisoning with calcinogenic glycosides and when there are increased amounts of parathyroid hormone in the blood (as in hyperparathyroidism), there is deposition of calcium in the soft tissue. (In hyperparathyroidism secondary to renal disease there is deposition in the alveoli of the lungs, the renal tubules, beneath the parietal pleura, the gastric mucosa, and the arterial walls.) Normally calcium is deposited in the bone matrix to insure stability and strength of the bone. In osteomalacia osteomalacia there is an excess of unmineralized osteoid because the aged well-mineralized bone is replaced by a matrix that is inadequately mineralized.

dystrophic calcification the deposition of calcium in abnormal tissue without abnormalities of blood calcium.

metastatic calcification deposition of calcium in tissues as a result of abnormalities of calcium and phosphorus levels in the blood and tissue fluids.

nutritional calcification calcification in soft tissues as a result of an increased intake of calcium.

soft tissue calcification see metastatic calcification (above), dystrophic calcification (above).

a picture for beth.

2009-08-09T18:37:00.001-07:00

this is a flower... obvi.

it's from argentina.
kinda crazy, right?
my friend took this pic on his mission.
and i thought you all might like to see it.

do you know why i'm awake?

2009-08-07T05:26:00.000-07:00

because i haven't gone to sleep yet.

it's 5:28 am.

this is what the sky looked like when i pulled in to my driveway nine minutes ago.

[i might have a crush on my manager...]

today i did several things.

2009-08-06T01:44:00.000-07:00

10:00 am - i woke up.
10:45 am - i took a shower.
11:25 am - i did some laundry.
11:30 am - i curled my hair all pretty!
12:15 pm - i got a phone call from my long lost friend in the navy.
2:00 pm - i left my house and called zan.
2:20 om - i went to lunch with kiff.
3:30 - i went to target and bought:
a - some scrapbooking stuff,
b - a new toothbrush,
c - razors, and
d - something else that i can't quite remember.
4:15 pm - i watched tv for an hour.
5:30 pm - i went to work.
12:35 am - i drove by mcdonalds to get some dinner, but it was closed.
12:40 am - so, i went to jack in the box instead.
12:45 am - i went home and ate my dinner.
1:30 am - i was texting my manager, watching spaceballs with tyler, and falling asleep when i realized you guys would probably like to hear from me. however, i couldn't think of anything incredibly exciting to talk to you about. so i decided to give you a play-by-play of my day.
2:05 am - i finished talking all about what i did today and decided i should go to bed...
because tomorrow i'm gonna go play dodgeball at the park. i think.
2:12 am - the end.

c.a.l.i.f.o.r.n.i.a.

2009-07-31T12:02:00.000-07:00

Guess what?! I GOT A JOB!! Whoo! lol. Actually, I just got my old job at Urban Outfitters back. And I start on Wednesday. So, to kill time until then I came to Newport Beach with my parents. Pretty exciting stuff happens on trips like this. For example, last night my parents walked down to the pizza place that we've always had on our first night down here, but to their surprise, it's been turned into a bistro. Thus, no artichoke pizza for Sydney. Or like this morning while my mom was out tanning on the beach and me and my dad were being creepy stalkers watching people through binoculars on the balcony, this crazy old man was just standing there down by the water facing the sun with his arms stretched out, like he was recharging his solar panels or something. He looked a lot like one of the speedo-men from my drawing. Mostly because he was in a speedo. Anyway, just because I want you all to be jealous of my vacation this is a picture of the beach from the balcony. Can you spot my momma!?!

tanning and bug catching.

2009-07-27T16:59:00.000-07:00

Today my friend Steph and I decided that we need TANS!! I've been white for far too long. I'm ready to look like Pocahontas again. So she came over to my house around noon and we started tanning at 12:30 or 1... I don't remember. After 20 minutes or so we got soooo freaking hot!! I despise Las Vegas heat waves. To cool off we decided to get in the pool... which was cold. [There's just no pleasing us.] Once we were in the water though we were attacked by hornets. I guess they need the water to build their nests, and pools are sparkly so it attracts them. So... to the point of my story... we decided to try and catch them! Which I did very successfully, I might add. Until they called for backup! I swear, it went from two to three to NINE hornets in about an hour. I caught them with the pool-net and just held them under until they stopped moving. Then I trapped them in an old water bottle. I know, I know. I'll probably go to hell for killing harmless creatures, but in my defense, they were trying to eat my face!!! Anyway, after we caught about four hornets, Steph found a weird creature lurking under the Super Soaker that I'd gotten out to protect us from the swarm of hornets. She called it a sun spider, but my brother called it a vinegaroon. After further research, I've come to the conclusion that Steph was right. Vinegaroons are huge and black and I would have screamed and begged my parents to move if I'd have seen one. Just so you can see the difference...

this is a sun spider: [notice how it's small and has tiny little baby pincers.]...and this is a vinegaroon: [notice the gigantic-ness and the large scorpion-like stinger and it's overall aura of death.]

So, score one for Steph!! I'm really glad she was right and not Tyler. Anyway, I ran inside to get a cup so I could catch the sun spider. Steph told me that they act pretty crazy and I really wanted to see it. So this is our crazy sun spider. The video is a little long, but keep watching, this bug is possessed!!

This video is taking a really long time to load... lalalalalalalala lalala la la lalalalalala llama lala lalalalalalalala lala la la lalalalala.
But anyway, after we caught this guy we sorta gave up. I trapped a total of six hornets and the sun spider. So it was a pretty good day! My shoulders are pretty pink, and my face. I guess I'll have to tan again another day.

and then there was one...

2009-07-22T01:03:00.000-07:00

ONE day left of school. ONE day left to pack all my stuff into my tiny little room. ONE question left on my english exam that i just don't feel like answering. ONE oven to clean. ONE bug bite that's driving me crazy. ONE more hour of parenting [thank goodness]. ONE more day of 4th grade english. ONE more crit in rendering. ONE more walk home from campus [for a while, at least]. ONE more day to wish i was in Lake Powell and not Rexburg. ONE more night until i get to see steph. ONE more day to look pretty for people who don't really care. ONE day to figure out what i can leave and what i need to take home. ONE more day until i get to see my mom! ONE day. ONE. ONE reason to stay. ONE person i don't want to leave. ONE chance. ONE loss. ONE semester i'll never forget. ONE apartment that will always be the best. ONE group of roommates i'll love forever. ONE reason to change. ONE person to remember, forever and always. ONE day. ONE message. ONE love.

a LOT happened this semester. but only ONE thing changed my life for good. it's hard to say, to think about, to remember. but i'll always have this semester, this apartment, these roommates to share it with. and we all feel it. we all know. we're all in this together [sorry, i had to]. we are ONE.
we live, we love, we laugh.

you be the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground, and i'll be the wings that keep your heart in the clouds.

2009-07-21T00:39:00.000-07:00

i heart Mayday Parade.
Tell me once again, that you'll love me to the death. And should I die, you swear that you will come for me. As I fade away, you reach out your hand, and please don't let me go. And I'll be here by the ocean just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams. All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes, and every wave drags me to sea. I could stand here for hours just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?" With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question." Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?

I miss...

2009-06-01T16:20:00.000-07:00

you.
the beach.
swimming everyday.
watching Gil and Z be silly.
my queen size bed.
cuddling [with a boy].
running through sprinklers.
barbies.

I miss people. I miss him, especially. I can't wait until everything's back to how it was before... if it ever can be. I miss the people that came into my life and slowly faded out. It was fantastic to have them, and I'm sad that they're gone now. But the memories will always stay with me. I miss seeing the waves from the balcony in Newport. I want to go back there. Maybe forever. I really wish I hadn't stopped swimming after high school. I feel like I was a much healthier person then. Ok, so my eating habits haven't changed since I was seven... but I exercise a lot less now. Oh, college, how you've ruined me. I LOVE Gil and Z. They are the most awesomely amazing little girls on the planet. They always make me smile and remember what's really important in life. And my bed... I really love it. Sometimes when I'm at home and I'm sleeping in my big, giant, comfy, four-poster I feel lost. It's a big change from the twin sized bed I sleep on at school. I don't miss the cuddling so much anymore. I'm pretty content with the way that part of my life is going. Well, for today at least. Running through sprinklers is by far the best most amazing thing to do in the summer. I plan on spending most of this Friday doing just that for Z's birthday! Teach 'em young! Ok, a little nostalgia here... I absolutely loved playing with Barbies when I was little. Or, you know, a pre-teen. I think my mom finally made me pack them all up when I turned 13. That was a sad day. One day, when I have little girls, you better believe that they will play with Barbies.

lil meg is my fav.

* as a disclaimer, I drafted this post about two months ago. Obviously, the things that I miss have changed. And are changing as I type this, because I'll be in Las Vegas tomorrow night. Which [don't take this personally, Mom] isn't home anymore. Home is where you go when you need someone to brighten your day, to make you feel good about yourself, or just to go when you want the world to stop for a while. And while my house in Las Vegas still does all those things for me, life is different now, and that part of my life doesn't understand this new part. That's why 509 is home for me now. Not the physical 509, that would be silly. My home is right here, at the kitchen table with Mikalyn and Kayla, mindy wrappers all around us, and Meg fast asleep on the couch. Home is in Bethy's special hugs and Brittney's many different voices. Home is dancing around the apartment for no reason in particular and bursting into song at any given moment. Home is the love that's spilling out of these windows, because four walls just can't hold it anymore. And even though we're all going different ways, we're all in the same place. Las Vegas, Rexburg, Upland, Logan, Sandy, Draper, Monteview. It doesn't matter where we go or how far apart we are.
"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned." -Maya Angelou

because nothing in life comes free.

2009-04-04T01:07:00.000-07:00

why isn't there a man-store?? where i can just walk in and tell the sales associate what i want and walk out with my dream guy.
i mean, i understand the downsides of human-trafficking. but come on! it would be nice.
i suck at dating.
i suck at being the girl and waiting around for mr. right to sweep me off my feet. i just want someone to be HONEST with me. why is that so hard? why can't a boy [like you] like a girl [like me] and say so?
is it because you don't want it to not work out? news flash, hun, THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT!! at some point in a relationship someone is going to realize that they're not as into the other person as they were before. and that's totally ok. no harm done. no feelings hurt [hypothetically, at least.]
i want so desperately to believe in love. in your being capable of it. in my being worth the risks.
i've put my heart on the line too many times. i won't do it anymore. i don't want to see it abused like that again. i have faith that there's someone, somewhere who won't tear me apart. i wish it was you, but that's not looking so good. UGH! every time you call...

* you know what's funny about blogging?! i always save drafts of blogs and then forget to finish and post them. so when i see that i have this complainy-swaney blog all about how he won't just say it sitting in my 'edit posts' folder... i laugh. because not only have i since forced him into submission and gotten him to admit to liking me, he's even done it on his own!! big step. you have no idea how freaking excited i was to hear it. unprompted. no begging or pleading or bribing involved. :-)

I love...

2008-11-22T18:55:00.000-08:00

to write.
to be myself.
to succumb to randomness.
to fake sick.
to lie.
to open presents.
to get mail.
to love.

These are all true. I love writing all sorts of things. I'm really big into rewriting songs and poems and things lately, not sure why. It's just more fun I think. Like the version of Taylor Swift's "Our Song" I wrote Julia, or the hilarious comment I just left on SP's facebook that used to be Elizabeth Barrett Browning's "How Do I Love Thee". It just makes the great things other people wrote more personal. It's part of being myself. I'd rather say how I feel when I feel it than beat around the bush with someone else's sappy love song. I don't care what other people think of me, to a certain extent. Everyone cares a little bit. And I especially care what the people I love think of me. If they don't approve of something I want them to tell me. I hate the mudane. I want my life to be like one of Picasso's paintings with nothing in the right place or normal. I'd love to do something new everyday... or at least have the option. Because sometimes I like to stay at home for no apparent reason. I love faking sick. I'm the funniest hypochondriac I know, because all of my diseases are only curable by watching Labyrinth and eating pizza. Part of this 'faking sick' stems from the fact that I'm a pathological liar. I love to lie. Definitely like it more than telling the truth. And I'm a really good liar too. People still believe me that my brother shot me in the forehead with a BB gun and that's why I have a perfectly round scar right, dead in the center. It's hilarious. But I'm getting better at not lying so much... and choosing my victims carefully. I love to open presents, not because I'm greedy, but because I love the look on the gift giver's face just as you pull back the last layer. I can't explain the look, but the next time you're opening a present (Christmas and Hannukah are just aroung the corner!) watch the person who gave it to you as you unwrap... it's priceless! I also love to get mail. Letters mostly. I think that computers are taking over and people need to realize what they're losing. A handwritten letter is just so much better than an e-mail. And yes, I do see the irony of this statement: that I'm complaining about computers taking over as I've just succumbed to one of the latest online trends.
I love to love. I'm just full of love. For anything and everything, anyone and everyone. I love to be a part of, well, everything. I just love love. Sappy? I guess.