Friday, October 15, 2010

sunshine and tulle.

yesterday i had a VERY grumpy day.  i was sleepy and hungry for most of it.  and then it seemed like everytime i had a breakthrough with wedding stuff something would go wrong.
i took a lot of my frustration out on john, and i feel terrible for it now.  it's a good thing he's so in love with me  :)
i was grumpy because work was really busy yesterday, and one of my contacts was being difficult, and the daily checks were super complicated to figure out, and the wrong delivery came in, and my blood sugar was low, and the internet at home wasn't set up, and my room is a mess, and i needed to do laundry, and my brother's dog is annoying, and there were about a hundred other reasons - but typing them all out will just make me grumpy all over again.
so i was laying in bed this morning, not wanting to get up just yet, and i started thinking about how nice the weather's been outside, and how exciting it is to be planning a wedding, and my fluffy dress, and how incredibly lucky i am to be marrying my absolute best friend in the world.  john is just amazing.  and the best part is that he doesn't even know it.  he's everything i've ever needed in my life, and i can't even begin to express how grateful i am for him.  but i'm going to try.

to my johnny monster -
you are the best thing in my life.  you make me smile, even when i don't want to.  you light up my heart every single day and you remind me that it's never going to be dark again.  thank you for always doing what you say you will.  thank you for always being there, even when i didn't ask for you to.  thank you for telling me that you love me every chance you get.  thank you for my pretty ring and the promise of forever that you attached to it.  thank you for not thinking i'm crazy.  thank you for being lazy with me, and letting me take naps.  thanky you for telling me the truth - even when it's hard.  thank you for holding me close, and holding my hand, and kissing my head when i'm sad.  thank you for letting me meet your family and friends in san diego.  thank you for liking my friends and family and not thinking we're too wierd.  thank you for being the driver on long road trips.  thank you for making my lunches before school.  thank you for holding my hand when we'd cross the street.  thank you for taking an online class while your home and working.  thank you for calling the apartment complexes to find out more information and get us on waiting lists.  thank you for trying to explain things to me because i don't understand them, and not getting too mad when i give up trying and need to take a break.  thank you for giving me a reason to go back to rexburg, because i wasn't quite ready to leave forever.  thank you for being driven and wanting to be the best student you can so you can get into a good law school and support me and our family.  thank you for thinking i was cute in a pathetic sort of way.  thank you for loving hot dogs and slurpees and horkleys and pickles as much as i do.  thank you for all your efforts to get me to go to the gym.  thank you for reminding me of the things i need to do.  thank you for inspiring me to be better and to really study my scriptures.  thank you for being my best friend, and the best thing in my life, and for wanting to spend the rest of forever with me.  thank you for calling and reserving our date at the temple.  thank you for calling my every morning to make sure i'm awake and to tell me that you love me.  thank you for staying on skype every night until i fall asleep.  thank you for letting me bug you with a million e-mails a day and responding to them whenever you have an extra minute.  thank you for letting me call and wake you up in the middle of the "night" and talk to you while i'm at lunch.  thank you for getting days off work to come and see me for halloween and for our trip to rexburg.  thank you for everything you do for me.  thank you for all your prayers.  thank you for thinking about me.  thank you for boris, and ghoti, and marcus, and the flamingo whose name escapes me...  thank you for loving me even though i'm an absolute mess all the time.  thank you for kissing me before i brush my teeth.  thank you for thinking i'm pretty when i'm sick, and haven't showered, and just woke up, and especially when all of those things happen at the same time.  thank you for letting me take you all over the place to take pictures and then not even showing them to you because i don't really like them.  thank you for letting me have a secret engagement story.  thank you for introducing me to the two-story target phenomenon.  thank you for metting me be me.  thank you for laughing at my silly jokes.  and thank you for laughing at me when i'm trying to be serious.  thank you for working graveyard shifts, even though you hate it.  thank you for telling everyone you meet how much you love me.  thank you for washing dishes.  thank you for fluffing herman.  thank you for telling me that i have too much stuff.  thank you for all of it - the whole package.  thank you, john.  i mean it.  i really don't deserve you.
i love you, forever and ever, time a bazilion, plus infinity, with everything i have.

1 comment:

Alli said...

Oh Syd, I just love you! I'm so happy that you're so happy. I can't wait to see your wedding announcements!!