long time, no post.

it's literally been months since i blogged.  which is funny, because i have all the time in the world these days to be blogging about everything.  this whole wedding-planning thing is pretty fun.  i'm finding a lot of great ideas, mostly for my wedding, but also for decorating and party-planning in general.  i just wish it were april already!!

i'm such a great employee.

sometimes i think that every time i mess up at this job it's the boss-man who catches me.
and that really is how it happens, almost every time.

but today i feel a little bit better about myself.  because:
[a] i had the car-detailer guy come an hour later than he had planned, [b] i had the car-detailer guy wait an extra 20 minutes because the boss-man was late, [c] i looked up an address and printed directions to the boss-man's next meeting, and [d] i double-checked the car-detailer guy's going rate for a regular car wash.

all in one day.

man, am i awesome or what?!

sunshine and tulle.

yesterday i had a VERY grumpy day.  i was sleepy and hungry for most of it.  and then it seemed like everytime i had a breakthrough with wedding stuff something would go wrong.
i took a lot of my frustration out on john, and i feel terrible for it now.  it's a good thing he's so in love with me  :)
i was grumpy because work was really busy yesterday, and one of my contacts was being difficult, and the daily checks were super complicated to figure out, and the wrong delivery came in, and my blood sugar was low, and the internet at home wasn't set up, and my room is a mess, and i needed to do laundry, and my brother's dog is annoying, and there were about a hundred other reasons - but typing them all out will just make me grumpy all over again.
so i was laying in bed this morning, not wanting to get up just yet, and i started thinking about how nice the weather's been outside, and how exciting it is to be planning a wedding, and my fluffy dress, and how incredibly lucky i am to be marrying my absolute best friend in the world.  john is just amazing.  and the best part is that he doesn't even know it.  he's everything i've ever needed in my life, and i can't even begin to express how grateful i am for him.  but i'm going to try.

to my johnny monster -
you are the best thing in my life.  you make me smile, even when i don't want to.  you light up my heart every single day and you remind me that it's never going to be dark again.  thank you for always doing what you say you will.  thank you for always being there, even when i didn't ask for you to.  thank you for telling me that you love me every chance you get.  thank you for my pretty ring and the promise of forever that you attached to it.  thank you for not thinking i'm crazy.  thank you for being lazy with me, and letting me take naps.  thanky you for telling me the truth - even when it's hard.  thank you for holding me close, and holding my hand, and kissing my head when i'm sad.  thank you for letting me meet your family and friends in san diego.  thank you for liking my friends and family and not thinking we're too wierd.  thank you for being the driver on long road trips.  thank you for making my lunches before school.  thank you for holding my hand when we'd cross the street.  thank you for taking an online class while your home and working.  thank you for calling the apartment complexes to find out more information and get us on waiting lists.  thank you for trying to explain things to me because i don't understand them, and not getting too mad when i give up trying and need to take a break.  thank you for giving me a reason to go back to rexburg, because i wasn't quite ready to leave forever.  thank you for being driven and wanting to be the best student you can so you can get into a good law school and support me and our family.  thank you for thinking i was cute in a pathetic sort of way.  thank you for loving hot dogs and slurpees and horkleys and pickles as much as i do.  thank you for all your efforts to get me to go to the gym.  thank you for reminding me of the things i need to do.  thank you for inspiring me to be better and to really study my scriptures.  thank you for being my best friend, and the best thing in my life, and for wanting to spend the rest of forever with me.  thank you for calling and reserving our date at the temple.  thank you for calling my every morning to make sure i'm awake and to tell me that you love me.  thank you for staying on skype every night until i fall asleep.  thank you for letting me bug you with a million e-mails a day and responding to them whenever you have an extra minute.  thank you for letting me call and wake you up in the middle of the "night" and talk to you while i'm at lunch.  thank you for getting days off work to come and see me for halloween and for our trip to rexburg.  thank you for everything you do for me.  thank you for all your prayers.  thank you for thinking about me.  thank you for boris, and ghoti, and marcus, and the flamingo whose name escapes me...  thank you for loving me even though i'm an absolute mess all the time.  thank you for kissing me before i brush my teeth.  thank you for thinking i'm pretty when i'm sick, and haven't showered, and just woke up, and especially when all of those things happen at the same time.  thank you for letting me take you all over the place to take pictures and then not even showing them to you because i don't really like them.  thank you for letting me have a secret engagement story.  thank you for introducing me to the two-story target phenomenon.  thank you for metting me be me.  thank you for laughing at my silly jokes.  and thank you for laughing at me when i'm trying to be serious.  thank you for working graveyard shifts, even though you hate it.  thank you for telling everyone you meet how much you love me.  thank you for washing dishes.  thank you for fluffing herman.  thank you for telling me that i have too much stuff.  thank you for all of it - the whole package.  thank you, john.  i mean it.  i really don't deserve you.
i love you, forever and ever, time a bazilion, plus infinity, with everything i have.

ten things that made me happy today.

[this is for amber, who challenged all her friends to do this.]

ONE - spending all day on g-chat with john.
TWO - the nice weather outside.
THREE - my ring making rainbows and sparkles across my desk.
FOUR - looking at wedding blogs.
FIVE - thinking of brittney out on her mission and having a fabulous birthday.
SIX - the smell of fajitas.
SEVEN -finally getting to hang out with nettie after fifty-seven tries.
EIGHT - talking about forever.
NINE - trying on wedding dresses!!
TEN - john. he just makes me happy all by himself.

would anyone like to plan my wedding??

pretty please?

with sugar on top.
and whipped cream.
and a cherry.
and chocolate syrup.
and rainbow sprinkles.

i have about a BAZILLION ideas - but none of them would really work together.
maybe this is why people spend so much moolah to hire a wedding planner...

book plus blog equals... blook??!

here's the thing... i read.  a LOT.  possibly too much for my own good.  but what i don't do is keep any sort of record of what i've read. 

and so, i'm introducing [da da da da] the blook!!
it'll be great, i promise.  if not for you, then for me.  i need to have some way of remembering all these books so one day, when i'm looking back and thinking what have i done with my life i'll have the blook to remind me of all those precious days i spent doing nothing.

and who knows, maybe i'll nudge someone in the direction of a library every now and then...

i need a project.

i have all this spare time now... and i need some sort of productive activity to fill it with.  i mean, i have to look for a job, and then my spare time will be a little more limited, but let's face it - i do absolutely NOTHING else.  i do need to clean my room so that i can rearrange it so that i can paint it so that i can install some shelves [which need to be designed and then built].  however, i have a feeling that a lot of that will involve my family's help and so not really take as much time as it sounds like it will...

in november i'm going to write a book.  or, at least, try.  there's a non-profit organization that does this thing called NaNoWriMo [national novel writing month] and they challenge you to write a fifty-thousand word manuscript during the month of november.  so that's my plan for then...

i need to make some kind of scrap-book for my years in college.  but i mostly just want that to be a collection of cheesy roommate pictures and random side notes.  nothing too fancy or time consuming. 

after that, though, i'm at a loss.  i expect i'll have a lot of planning to do after the new year, but even then it'd be nice to have some little side projects to help keep me some sort of sane.  but what kinds of things are there to do?!  i'd love to just go out and take pictures, but there's just nothing in this town i want to document.  i'd also love to make a quilt using all my old school shirts, but my mom's sewing machine and i don't exactly see eye to eye.

i need to focus on writing.  i want to start a book-club sort of blog.  since i'm such an avid reader and i did just get a degree in English, it'd probably benefit me to practice those skills that i attained.  you know, to keep my brain from gathering too much dust.

i also think it'd be cool to grow a bonsai tree.  it would help me to be patient and give me something calm and relaxing to do when things around here are hectic or stressful.  i'm just afraid that when i'll kill it i'll be too discouraged to try again.

maybe this list of things to do is already long enough and i just need to crack down and get started.  too bad starting projects is my least favorite part  :/

my Julia is MARRIED!!!

she was sooo beautiful.  everything was just amazing.  even the cake, and i don't especially like red velvet.  here are a couple pics i stole from her sister's facebook...

has anyone else ever noticed that i'm a little tall to be in a short dress and heels?!  [at least no one got a shot of the back of my dress... they would have been in for a surprise!]

oh, i just love her.  so beautiful, right?!  and Shane's not so bad either!  ;)

i'm so happy for my dearest love and her new hubby.  and i was so glad that i could be a part of their special day.  but i am NEVER letting her pick out my shoes ever again!!

philosophy? no thanks, i'll have the pie.

why did i think it would be a good idea to cluster in philosophy of all things?!!  seriously.  i don't think i've spent more than 45 minutes actually paying attention in this class all semester.  it's a bit sad.

here is a sneak peek of the other students in this class with me...
 - the boy who prefaces all of his comments/questions with: "this may sound confusing. it makes sense in my head."
 - the girl who gets up at least once, but sometimes two or three times to walk the entire length of the room to throw something away, usually a food wrapper.
- the girl who wears the same plum-colored shirt and awkwardly laced pink and white tennis-shoes with everything.
 - the boy from my ethics class who turns around to look at me every time a reference is made to something we talked about in that class.
 - the self-proclaimed army-brat girl who spends half of every day complaining about the dress and grooming standards to the person behind her.
 - and, my favorite, the girl who knits during every lecture.

thank heavens for the boy who always sits in front of me with his thick, dark, curly hair that i can stare at and get lost in.

oh, my teacher just started a sentence with, "When I met Hitchcock in my dream..."

the funny thing...

i really don't like apples.  the fruit.  i don't like the flavor, the texture, or the fact that they can be made into almost any kind of edible thing [i.e. sauce, juice, pie, etc.]

but i LOVE LOVE LOVE apples.  the computer.  i love the design, the programming, and the fact that they have all sorts of different shapes and sizes [i.e. iPod, iPad, MacBook, iMac, etc.]

365.

a year can go by pretty fast, huh?
so much has happened since last summer.
we sent off a missionary, celebrated two weddings, and moved on to bigger and better things...
but we're still all together, theoretically. [thanks facebook]

it's nice to know that no matter what i do or where i end up i'll have my girls there with me  :)
that's a comfort i'll always be grateful for.

there are two doors in front of me.

the first one will keep me safe and comfortable.  i know what i get as soon as i walk through.  there's nothing scary or mysterious about it.  and i know that i'll be happy.

the second one is the complete opposite.  it's different and strange and exciting.  i'd be doing things i've never done before.  and i think i'll love it more than anything i've ever done. 

but i can't have both.  i have to pick one.  and the choice is hard.  people will be hurt and lives will change either way.  i'll be a different, new, better person. 

this isn't something i was prepared for.

i haven't...

been in the same state for more than four days since April 8th.

i went home for four days.
i went to california for three days.
i went back home for another two days.
i went to idaho for four days.
i went home for a day.
i went back to california for two days.
and then in the process of driving back to idaho i was home for a night.
and now i think i'll be stationary for a while.

hopefully.

last day of school!

whoo hoo!!

that's really all i have to say.
because i'm so ready for this semester to be over.
and ready to start my FINAL SEMESTER OF COLLEGE!

but first i have to get through today.
and this ridiculously long philosophy class.
it's never going to end.
i feel like i've been here for at least two hours, but it's only be 30 minutes.
ugh.

anyway, this week held a lot of lasts for me.
 - my last ever english class [i am now some-sort-of-qualified professional writer].
 - my last ever religion class [i am now fully prepared for eternal marriage... haha].
 - my last ever architecture class [i am now capable of designing a building, or at least interpreting blueprints].

it feels good to say i'm "done" with those things.

i think that i'll celebrate with mcdonalds  :)

dear rexburg...

it's april.
it's time for sunshine and flowers.
no more of this:

i want...

this class to be over.
to be a graduate already.
a poptart.
the serengeti dress from anthropologie.
to take a nap.
to see my mikalyn.  :)
for brittney's mission to go by really fast.
to be in california.
my cold to go away.
to live on my own, regardless of how impractical that is.
some new shoes.
to figure my life out.
all my jeans to fit right.
it to be summer.

have you ever noticed that the more you want something, it always seems farther away and harder to get?  life is funny that way.  but then again, weekends always seem to make me feel like things are a lot closer and easier.

i went snowboarding a few weeks ago.

remember how i bruise like a three-day-old peach?!
well, if you need a reminder, here is exhibit A:

that's my knee...









this smaller bruise is on the back of my leg, and it has a twin in the exact same spot on my other leg.

we decided that they're from my boots.








there was a bruise on my hand, but it didn't really show up on the camera, so i'll just let you imagine what it looked like.
and the piece de resistance is this big fella, on the back of my arm:

oh man, you should have seen it... this picture doesn't do it justice.








needless to say, i should be taking some kind of iron supplement. because these are just the note-worthy bruises, there are plenty more smaller ones scattered all over my body.
i swear i'm not the victim of abuse.
these are just the products of a normal day's activities for me.

remember the 2010 census?

and how i was really excited that i got to fill it out, because hey - how else is obama gonna know where to send his speeches for editing?!
well, i was disappointed.
it was lame.
all they wanted to know was where i live, how old i am, and what color my skin is.
l-a-m-e.
way to hype up the most boring 2 minutes of my week, united stated government.
i'm never falling for a commercial again...

oh my gosh. star trek is on.
bye.

i am a designer.

sometimes i forget just what it is that i'm doing here at school and then i remember... getting an education.

but what exactly am i being educated in?  i'm an english major.  professional writing, to be more specific.  but i've done a LOT more than just read a bunch of books and write a bunch of reports in the four years that i've been here.

most people who know me forget that i started school as an architecture major.  but i did.  and i've continued to study the design principles, which gave me the opportunity to:
     •  design a museum and take it all the way through the design process, from theory to plans
     •  hand-render multiple buildings and landscapes, including the Rexburg Temple
     •  create a full set of architectural plans (blue-prints) for a residential single-family dwelling
     •  design and model a completely custom home and digitally render images of both the exterior and interior views

some design projects that are a little more relevant to english were:
     •  an online bridal magazine.
     •  an instruction manual on how to build a tool box.
     •  a grant proposal.
     •  a personal academic portfolio.
     •  a guide book for one of the university's study abroad programs.
     •  a fully inclusive online professional portfolio [still in production]

i've designed flyers, newsletters, and brochures, created websites and blogs, and created more than my fair share of cover-pages.

i think i have a total of five portfolios:
     •  creative writing
     •  architectural design
     •  visual media
     •  academic writing
     •  and the aforementioned professional portfolio

after all that i don't think i want to be labeled as an english student.  i'm going to dance with the idea that i'm basically a designer for a while.  granted, my design skills are very basic and mostly unrelated to each other, but still... it's what i've spent the majority of my college years doing.

anyway, i'm a senior.  i did it.  can i maybe just say that i rock?!

b.l.a.h.

b.  is for how very, very BORING it is in the austin building on a saturday.  for real.  but i guess the more boring it is the easier it should be to focus, and so the faster my homework should get done... right?!

l.  is for how much i would LOVE to have a horkley's with me right now.  oh, the misfortunes of only ever carrying around a debit card.

a.  is for how i would rather be doing ANYTHING than sitting at this computer staring blankly at the progress bar of my rendered image.  ugh.

 
and h.  is for how HAPPY i'm going to be once this is all finished and i can feel accomplished and successful about life again.

to the tune of...

"we just got a letter"  [yes, the blue's clues song. don't judge.]

i just bought a vacuum,
i just bought a vacuum,
i just bought a vacuum,
and my floor looks really great!!

:)


the contents of the dirt container, however, kind of made me sick...

yeah, we've been living in this for months!!

ah, the taste of accomplishment.

even just a little sip is nice.

i completed items 1, 2, and 6 on my list of things to do yesterday, and it turns out #7 isn't due until thursday, so that sort of counts too  :)

this afternoon may or may not see my laundry getting done... it depends on how i feel after tanning.

but i have decided to take my garbage out on my way to school today.

GO ME!!

i have a lot to do...

I NEED TO...
   1] write a paper for philosophy, because it's due at 11:55 tonight.
   2] take a quiz for a different philosophy class, because it's also due at 11:55 tonight.
   3] do my laundry, because i'm running low on undies.
   4] clean my room, because my floor space is already limited as it is.
   5] find an alternative option to the vacuum in the front closet, because it sucks and our carpet is disgusting.
   6] read for eternal marriage class, because i don't want to fail at being a wife.
   7] write a paper for the same eternal marriage class, because it's on the syllabus.
   8] buy some face lotion, because my skin gets very very dry in the very very cold climate in which i live.
   9] paint my toes, because the grody-toe still freaks me out.
 10] take out my garbage, because shipping boxes don't fit in my trash can.
 11] work on my architecture homework, because i don't want to be stressed about it next week.

HOWEVER...
i'd much rather sit right here and stare at my computer screen than do anything even remotely productive.  i'm just having that kind of day.

potato fields.

[remember people... this is idaho.]


there's a potato field across the street from where i live.
actually, if you drive out of town in any direction, chances are you'll run into a potato field.
think about it.

i love seeing the people who've taken me out past the lights in the context of real life...

valentines past.

jozey.
weren't we fun together?

 

but we didn't do so well on the communication thing.

and kiff.
we were pretty cute when we were alone.

 

there was something wrong with our public social skills though.

and john.

he's my best friend.

did you know that the distance from rexburg to san diego is nine hundred eighty-nine miles?

why can't i have a normal valentine?

...am i reading too much into things??

can anybody find me...

somebody to love?